Forever AliveMemoirs

graveyard
So young!
Tender age!
Her whole life ahead!
His whole life ahead!
That's what they all said.
That's all what they saw.

Love of a lifetime.
Four years.
A lifetime of love. A lifetime of pain.

I was young.
Love happened. He was my love.
Four years together.
Love happened, life happened.
Four years together, a lifetime together.... 

A son together.
And then one day, it happened.
Death happened.

He was gone, and there I was - so young, so alone.
My whole life ahead!
He went away, never to come back.
My whole life ahead, without him.
Lonely days, lonelier nights.

With our son, with my son.
He was two.
Papa will come, he said.
Papa was gone, I told him.
No, he was angry with me.
Angry with me - I was there.
He was gone; he had left us - alone.
Alone, so young, tender age!

Whole life ahead!

Four years, forty years.
Young. Old.
Does age matter?
Life happens, love happens, death happens.
It happens at any age.
It hurts at any age.
Age had nothing to do with it.

Four years, forty years.
We loved for a lifetime.
Till death did us part.

My son was two. He was angry.
So young! Tender age! His whole life ahead!
Pain at two, pain of a lifetime.
Questions at two. Questions of a lifetime.
Love a lifetime, pain of a lifetime.

Age matters. My son's age.
Our son was two, he was angry.
Angry with me.
I was twenty-six, I was angry.
Angry with whom?
He was thirty, he was dead.

Pain at two, pain at twenty-six.
Pain of a lifetime.
Anger. Pain. Questions.
Life happens, love happens, death happens.
It hurts at any age.

Death happened. Life happens.
I was there. I am here.
Our son was there. Our son is here.
He is here too.
Forever alive.
Alive in me. In our son.

Life with him, life without him.
Life is alive.
Life was there. Life is here.
Love is alive, hope is alive.
Life is alive.
Forever alive.
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~ Beloo Mehra, Yellow Springs, Ohio.
June, 2002
"Beloo Mehra lives in USA with her husband, and occasionally writes to make sense of the life and world around her."

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